Whether the goal is to lose weight or pay down debt, New Year’s resolutions can often get tossed away like an old pair of socks. It feels good to make a promise but keeping that promise can be another story.

Trish Vernazza is a marriage and family therapist at the Carlsbad Relationship Counseling Center. She says before you even make a resolution for 2011, it’s important to figure out what makes you happy.

“Resolutions usually don’t go anywhere,” said Vernazza. “They need to be about something that you want to change in your life … a change that will make you happy. For instance, if you are frustrated with your current employment, don’t quit your job. Work on beefing up your skills to help you find a new job that makes you feel more fulfilled.”

Vernazza says then you need to ask yourself an important question: Can I achieve this goal on my own or do I need help?

“If your New Year’s resolution is to lose weight and get in shape, determine whether you can do it on your own with self-discipline,” said Vernazza. “Is it enough to join a gym or do you need help from a trainer who will help you stick to your plan?”

Vernazza also suggests making a chart to help you keep track of your progress.

“Just be careful where you put that chart.  Make sure it is in a positive place … not by a mirror where you see it all of the time and start to resent your new resolutions.”

Finally, consider setting goals that aren’t about unpleasant things (money problems, relationship troubles). Vernazza says you can also make resolutions about the positive things in your life.

“I am promising to have more play time in 2011. I am a therapist who works hard but I’m also an artist,” said Vernazza. “One of my resolutions will be to do more art work and take a painting class which I know I will love. It’s important to be good to ourselves and that will lead to more happiness.”

According to mynewyearsresolution.info, here are the top 5 resolutions for 2011.

1) Lose Weight

2) Pay off Debt

3) Spend Time with Family

4) Quit Smoking/Drinking

5) Be Organized