The way the cookie crumbles

They’ve packed up their boxes, removed their vests and bottled up the cuteness they use to lure you in and empty your pockets each year. Girl Scout cookie season is over.

For some of us this means no more having to exit the grocery store with the speed and focus of an Olympic sprinter or make up some lame excuse about how you already bought cookies. You know these attempts will be futile anyway, as they man every door and they always guilt you into buying just a few more boxes.

Unless you’re a soulless monster, there’s no way to deny a sweet little girl of the bike she’s worked so hard to earn with her cookie sales. So you shell out another 20 bucks and take home your four boxes of Thin Mints. They won’t last long though, because for all your attempts at avoiding the cookies, you know you want them.

That’s why for most of us, the end of Girl Scout cookie season is a time of mourning. Or at least it used to be.

There was a time when Girl Scout cookies were a delicacy. A treat that you could only get once a year. It’s the same reason we love Thanksgiving dinner; the scarcity of the treat makes it something to look forward to. That’s why we stuff our faces on Thanksgiving and why we accept it when prices rise and boxes get smaller, forking over than $100 plus dollars each year without question.

It’s not that Girl Scout cookies are superior to any other cookie. I’d take a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie over a Samoa any day. We can’t make Girl Scout cookies whenever we get a craving though, so we feel the need to buy in bulk.

But there’s no need to anymore.  No longer do we have to hoard our cookies and ration out our portions like we’re living through a World War to make our stash last until next year. The Girl Scout cookie has been reduced from a delicacy to a simple commodity.

Nowadays you can get Girl Scout cookie flavored candy bars, ice cream, coffee creamer, even lip balm. The flavors we used to crave and treasure can now be found on the grocery store shelf. The sacristy of the Girl Scout cookie has been destroyed and it’s all our fault.

It all started when they started handing out cookies right when you buy them. It used to be that there was a period of a little over a month between when a Girl Scout would come knocking at your door to persuade you with the sheer power of her adorability to fork over your savings and when you actually received your cookies. This period allowed for anticipation, a chance to hype up the cookie even more until your mouth is watering for them.

But the season was also shorter and people bought less cookies that way. So the Girl Scout made the switch to their current system and they profited from it. It seemed like a win-win situation at first, they make more money and we get more of our precious Girl Scout cookies, but economics teaches us that there are always trade-offs and in this case the trade-off is the loss of some of that anticipation which makes the cookies so delicious.

The fall of the Girl Scout cookie continued with the introduction of knock-off brands, the many Girl Scout cookie flavored products and homemade recipes for girl scout cookie brownies and cakes. When we no longer had to wait to get our cookies they started losing their appeal.

Now I’m not saying people don’t like Girl Scout cookies anymore. Just take one look around your classroom and that statement will be proven false by the few kids snacking on them while they take math notes or trying to bum a cookie off the kid they know has been hoarding them. I just want to give us a warning now before we get to that point.

I spent years pounding the pavement to earn however many boxes I needed to sell to earn whatever prize I’d set my sights on that year. I got my parents to pester their co-workers for me and I ate my fair share of cookies myself. Being a Girl Scout helped me get over my shyness and taught me valuable lessons about business and responsibility. The cookie selling process is nostalgic for me and I want to preserve its dignity.

This is why we need to treat the cookie like the delicacy it is. Continue to buy boxes of course, but treat Girl Scout cookie season like you would the Christmas season. We all love the extra holiday cheer, but when you start seeing Christmas decorations sold on the same shelves as Halloween candy, you know things have been taken too far. Keep the cookie season in it’s proper place that way when the Girl Scouts come knocking at the door, it’s something special.